Continued from page 1, Housework
(or perhaps because of) having a baby/toddler around. But it ebbed and flowed. It was nothing consistent. Then I found help in FlyLady, rhythms, and advice at which I had previously scoffed (i.e., my husband's family).FlyLady
FlyLady (www.FlyLady.net) is dedicated to helping people to clean and organize their homes and to keep them clean and organized. She breaks down the overwhelming task of cleaning an entire home into baby steps: "Your home did not get dirty in one day and it will not get clean in a day either". Which is encouraging for those of us who let our motivation slip for days or weeks or longer.
FlyLady embraces you no matter where you are in your home management evolution. New members start out with the simplest daily routine, containing only a few tasks. As this routine is assimilated into daily life, new components can gradually be added. It's a system designed for long-term success. But if you do stray, you can always go back. FlyLady reassures her members, "You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?" Verbally equivalent to a warm hug!
One of the nice things about FlyLady.net is members receive multiple e-mails each day, reminding them to perform such tasks as finding library books that are due or doing a "27 Fling Boogie". No need to remember so much all by yourself. No need to create a schedule as big as your yard. FlyLady makes it almost brainless. All that's needed is the motivation to do it. And FlyLady even provides that.
Membership is free. It probably works best with an internet connection that is always up and running, and a separate folder in the inbox set up to receive all those e-mails.
Rhythms
In her book "Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing our Children from Birth to Seven" (Michaelmas Press, 2000), Barbara J. Patterson stresses the importance of daily, weekly, monthly, and annual rhythms. We adjust to these rhythms physically and come to frame our lives in this way. When kids adjust to rhythms, they feel secure and their energy can be devoted to growing up rather than finding equilibrium in a more arrhythmic life. When adults adjust to rhythms, they feel more peaceful and purposeful. Patterson says people used to reserve certain days of the week for certain chores: Monday was laundry day, Tuesday was ironing day, etc. It was all done in a weekly rhythm (without being militant). So housecleaning is one way to give life rhythm. (I never would have thought that housecleaning could be good for your soul!)
The In-Laws
My husband comes from a family of very neat, orderly, clean people. They almost make housecleaning their religion. Okay, maybe not. But most of them are very particular about having their houses spotlessly clean. For the purpose of writing this article, I asked a couple of them, "What is the key to keeping a house clean?"
One answer I got was, "Keep everything straightened." Sounds like a no-brainer. But, especially with a baby or a toddler, things get out of hand faster than my daughter can unroll the toilet paper. A compromise on this theory that I have figured out is to keep certain places straightened. For me, one of these places is the shelf in the foyer that magically attracts weeks' worth of mail. If it gets away from me, it's a big mess. But if I manage to stay on top of it, for some reason the whole house feels neater.
Another family member shared, "Before leaving the house each day, I try to have the kitchen cleaned up then when you come home things don't look so daunting". I have found this to be true as well. I don't know if it's because we spend so much time in the kitchen or what, but if the kitchen (not unlike the shelf in the foyer) is clean, then the house just "feels" cleaner.
This same relative said that doing just a few chores a day, no matter how big or small, goes a long way toward tidiness.
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There's some common wisdom in all of this advice, and I have begun to make some changes in my housekeeping habits. Now, I wash dishes after breakfast not always all of them, sometimes just a sinkful or a few plates and cups. But it truly helps. Besides keeping my sink clear, it also encourages my daughter to incorporate this into her daily rhythm. I have a larger schedule in place, too (at least in theory): Monday is laundry day, Tuesday and Wednesday are vacuuming days, Thursday is dusting day, Friday is bathroom-cleaning day, and Sunday is baking day. (I haven't decided what to do with Saturday.)
These changes are not perfect (vacuuming before dusting?!) and do not address all of my clean-home woes. I usually don't get everything done every day. Far from it! But, I do feel better knowing that a framework is in place. It gives my days a bit more structure and it gives me a goal that is non-child-related (I've never been so happy to do a load of dishes by hand in my life). Plus, I relax more knowing my house is somewhat cleaner whenever I do get the work done. I might just start having people over socially one day.